Jake squinted at the clock on his nightstand through blurry eyes. What a night! Carnie had nearly killed him with her insatiable appetite for sex. He reached back to feel the passenger side of the bed. Of course she’s gone, he thought. No surprise. But then he smelled the irresistible aroma of fresh perked coffee. Was she still there?
He was anxious to find out, but as soon as he stood, he felt the overwhelming urge to drain his bladder. He could barely hold it until he got the lid up. But when he released, an intense burning sensation nearly brought him to his knees. It was a little late to be questioning whether Carnie had any diseases.
He inspected himself. No wonder he was in pain—it looked like somebody had taken a couple of pipe wrenches to the thing. But he knew it would regenerate. It always did. So, he let go, and the burning began to subside after a few seconds.
Jake walked into the kitchen and saw Carnie sitting at the table, drinking coffee and reading the sports section.
“Hey, Sleepyhead,” she said.
“I thought you already took off.”
“Nope. We’ve got to talk about our plans for tonight.”
“What plans?” Hopefully she’s not talking about sex, he thought. He’d need a couple of days to recuperate.
“The Mobley house is empty today. Nobody will be home until late tonight.”
“I see,” said Jake as he poured a cup of coffee.
“So this is the perfect time to go out and get volunteers for our clinical trial. We’ll wait until dark and then go over to the Wal-Mart parking lot. It’ll be easy to round up four old women.”
“Hang on, Carnie. If I walk up close to an old lady in the parking lot at night, she’s likely to scream.”
“You’re right. That’s why I’m gonna do it,” said Carnie. “I’ll smile and be polite until I get close enough. Then I’ll show them the knife. All you have to do is drive and hold a gun on the ladies until I’ve got them all in the van. That’s easy enough, huh?”
“I guess. Wait. What van?”
“Don’t worry—I’ll get us a van.”
There must be some way out of this, he thought. Think harder, Jake.
He picked up the main section of the paper and read the headline.
Elderly woman brutally murdered.
Then he read the details of how Nancie Jo Gristel had been stabbed to death in her own home. And that no valuables were taken. And that the police were clueless as to the killer’s motive. “This is awful.”
“What’s that?” she said without lowering her paper.
“This old woman who was murdered.”
“Oh, yeah—I read that story. Terrible shame.”
Jake’s body felt heavier by the second, as though he and his chair would soon sink down through the floor. He didn’t even have to ask. He knew Carnie had killed the woman.
*
“Did they really love us, Grandma?” said Carsie. She was standing in her grandmother’s living room, looking at pictures on the mantel. Sometimes she seemed more like a child than a 30 year-old.
Her grandmother looked up from her crossword puzzle. “Of course they did. Why do you always ask that?”
“But if they had been home with us that night instead of…”
“I know. But they weren’t, and what’s done is done.”
Sylvia Slitherstone had been babysitting her grandchildren when her son and daughter-in-law were killed in a car crash. The girls were both under five years old when she became their new mother.
Their parents knew they were taking a chance every time they went out in that old Ford station wagon. The power steering had grown erratic and the brakes were weak. Otherwise, they might have been able to avoid the dump truck that veered into their lane that rainy night. Sylvia knew that if her family had been wealthy, like the Mobleys, her son and daughter-in-law would still be alive. She was sure of it.
“Were Mama and Daddy happy? I mean, you know—were they madly in love?” said Carsie.
“They were crazy about each other. And about you girls. Y’all were a picture perfect family.”
Carsie turned back to the pictures on the mantel.
“Yes, we were, Grandma. We were picture perfect. We look so happy.”
“And now you’ll have you chance for happiness with Elmo.”
“Yeah, if he can ever learn to deal with the fact that his mother is dying. But Carnie thinks he’s coming around. I just hope she’s right.”
“Carnie is determined to get you two married. And you know Carnie. She always gets what she wants.”
Carsie smiled as she thought about it. “That’s right. Carnie does always get what she wants. How does she do that?”
“She just never takes ‘No’ for an answer. That’s just the way she is.”
Carsie walked over and sat on the sofa, slid her shoes off and stretched her legs out across the cushions. So, what’s going to happen after we get married? How are you going to get the money? Am I going to just write you and Carnie a check?”
“Something like that. But we have to wait until you’ve been married a few months to avoid the possibility of an annulment. Then, if Elmo gives you any trouble over the money, you’ll simply divorce him and take your half.”
“But I don’t want to divorce him.”
“Well then you’ll just have to get him to cooperate. You’re sure you never signed a prenup?”
“I haven’t signed anything.”
“Good. Don’t.”
“Grandma, I really love Elmo.”
“I know you do.”
“And I don’t want anything to hurt our marriage.”
“I understand. But don’t forget you agreed to follow the plan. Without it, you never would have met Elmo in the first place.”
“I know. But I did, and I fell in love with him.”
“Falling in love was not part of the plan.”
“I couldn’t help it. He’s wonderful. And I don’t want to lose him.”
“Maybe you won’t have to.”
*
“So, this is your best spot, huh?” said Hadley.
“Yes, it is,” said Horatio.
“I don’t know, Horry. We haven’t even had a nibble, and we’ve been sitting here for nearly two hours.”
Horatio sat up straight, faking an air of dignity. “Sir, do you dare question the validity of my Catfishery proficiency?”
Hadley took up the challenge. “On the contrary, Your Highness. I would never impugn the veracity of your asseveration.”
Horatio slumped back down. “I give. You win. I don’t have a dictionary on the boat.”
“I always win.”
“Okay, then. How about a little wager? Whoever catches the most fish gets to watch while the loser cleans all of them.”
“What if the loser can talk Alma into doing it for him?”
“That would have to be some awfully smooth talking,” said Horatio. “And you just might be able to pull it off, Brother—if you were thirty years younger.”
They laughed softly, so as not to scare off the fish.
“I’m afraid Elmo may be thinking about reopening the lab,” said Hadley.
“Uh-oh.”
“I told you he took a leave of absence from his medical practice so he could find the best treatment for Mallie Mae.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he’s been on the internet all day long and half the night, trying to find some answers.”
“So, he might go down there and start experimenting.”
“That’s what I’m thinking. Of course, he’d have to restock. There are no chemicals or other supplies down there.”
“But he’s a pediatrician, not a pharmacist,” said Horatio.
“That didn’t stop his father. Morford was an emergency room doctor, remember?”
“Yeah. Nothing could stop Morford. But Elmo doesn’t know about the other rooms, does he?”
“Oh, no. Morford didn’t want him to know, so I never told him. Even Mallie Mae still doesn’t know.”
“I can’t believe we actually got it done without them finding out,” said Horatio.
“Mallie Mae was on vacation in Europe with her sister. Remember? And Elmo was working in a clinic in Dallas.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Mallie Mae knew Morford was building a lab down there. But she didn’t know about the rest of it. And she was happy to be away while construction was going on.”
“Yeah, I remember that.”
“But I’m kinda surprised none of your crew ever let the secret slip,” said Hadley.
“Hey, I handpicked those men, and I had a lot of faith in them.”
“And you paid them well.”
“Yes, I did, because Morford paid me well.”
“Well, I just hope Elmo doesn’t get too nosey down there,” said Hadley. “If he finds the other rooms…”
“Some secrets are best kept.”