Jordan’s mother ladled out a thick soup and revealed a spread of cheese, salad and fresh bread. She smiled around the supper table with proprietary kindness, while Jordan’s father talked on about the stone mother and Jordan’s bravery.
“Ryman can’t say a bad word about the boy now. Ha! What a change. But the fact is, when it came to the moment, he panicked, and you didn’t.”
“Thanks.” Jordan found himself squirming. All this sudden fame was strange, and tiring on top of everything else that had happened today. Despite his exhaustion, he was afraid of going to sleep tonight. The nightmare might return.
He wanted to tell his family about Allegri’s idea that he’d been blessed by the Winds. He opened his mouth to speak, but a cold feeling deep in his stomach stopped him. Father kept printed broadsheets detailing the escapades of the inspectors and controllers; Jordan could see several tacked up by the door if turned his head. That was all Mother would allow as decoration, the rest being relegated to a chest on the porch. Father would would be thrilled and proud beyond description if he thought Jordan might be able to gain a government position. But it wasn’t what Jordan himself wanted.
He had always assumed he would follow in his father’s footsteps, and was content with that. Jordan’s highest ambition was to have a comfortable home, a family, and to be considered a solid member of the community. What more could a man ask for?
So he said nothing. It was desperately necessary that the peace of the supper table not be disturbed. His mother’s careful preparations, her cleanliness and little touches such as the chrysanthemums in the center of the spread, were talismans, protective as was his father’s way of hovering about all problems without alighting his attention on any, and smoothing all troubled waters with belittling wit.
His father had said something more. “Hmm? What?” He blinked around the table.
“Where’s your head?” His father’s smile was puzzled, traced with a little sadness as it often was. “Have more potatoes, they’re good for you,” he said, but he looked like he wanted to say something else.
What he did add was, “I met a man today, a courier for the Ravenon forces named Chan. You know about the war they’re having with the Seneschals?” Emmy nodded dutifully. Jordan sat up straight, his food forgotten.
“This fellow said there was a battle yesterday. On the border.”
“Is the war coming here?” Emmy asked.
“No. I don’t know if the war is going to continue. It seems the Winds intervened in the battle. Stopped it.
“The Winds are mighty,” said their father. “That’s the lesson; though truth to tell, this fellow Chan seemed more amused by the tale than anything.” He shook his head. “Some people…”
He turned his attention to Emmy. “Your brother did well today, didn’t he?” he asked.
“He did okay,” she said in a monotone.
“Okay? Well, aren’t you proud?” She said nothing. “Well, how about you?” he asked. “Did you get to see our master’s guests? Did you meet Turcaret?”
Emmy glanced up; her eyes met Jordan’s. He looked down, squirmed in his chair. “Yes,” said Emmy.
“He’s pretty grand, isn’t he? I hear his house is twice the size of Castor’s. Mind, that would be twice the work, I expect.”
“I—I don’t like Turcaret,” blurted Emmy.
Their father reared back, raising his eyebrows. “What? That’s a pretty definite opinion to have for somebody you’ve barely met, especially one of your superiors. What brought that on?”
Emmy didn’t answer immediately, hunkering down over her meal. Finally she said, “He got Castor to make me wear my old dress tomorrow.”
“What dress?” asked their mother.
“The canary one.”
“But you’ve outgrown that dress, dear.”
“I told them that.”
There was a brief silence. Jordan felt a familiar tension, and the clamoring need to defuse it. He cast about for something
funny to say, but his father was faster. “You still have it? I thought you gave it to Jordan as a hand-me-down!”
Everybody laughed except Emmy. She looked a bit sick, actually, and Jordan’s own laugh died in embarrassed silence.
“Well, after dinner we can try to let it out a bit,” said mother.
Emmy looked at her aghast. Then she pushed away from the table and ran for the stairs.
“Emmy!” thundered their father, then more weakly, “come back.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, then mother got up. “I’ll talk to her,” she said quietly, and padded up the stairs after Emmy.
Jordan and his father completed their meal in silence.
*
After dinner Jordan took a walk to the spot where he planned to build his own house. He was heartsick. He strolled the rutted, red tracks that joined the houses of the village, but it only took a few minutes to cover them all. He stopped to talk to a few people, family and friends who sat in the lazing sun and talked while their hands busied with spinning and mending. He was distracted, however, and soon resumed walking again. The Penners were fixing their roof, along with a mob of relatives. Jordan avoided them; they would just want his advice.
This village was his home, always and forever. Jordan enjoyed hearing tales of the outside world, and often dreamed of a life as an traveller. But outside the village waited the
forest.
The forest appeared in the fading daylight as a ragged swath of green-black across the eastern horizon, exhaling its hostility across the reach of fields and air to Jordan. The forest was a domain of the Winds, and of the morphs that served them. Unlike the morphs, the true Winds had no form, but only a monstrous passion sufficient to animate dead moss and clay. They drove the wall of trees forward like a tidal wave, slowed to imperceptibility by some low cunning, but just as unstoppable. The previous summer, Jacob Walker had gone to the back of his fields to cull some of the young birch trees that had invaded his fields. His son had seen the morphs take him, and the way Jordan heard it, the trees themselves had moved at the morphs’ command. Walker’s farm was abandoned now, saplings spiking up here and there in the field, the crops turned to woodsage and fireweed, poison ivy and thistle. The Walker family now lived in another village, and did odd jobs.
Some things could not be avoided, or confronted. There must have been a time, Jordan felt, when he was unaware of the pressure of the sky on him, of the eyes of conscious nature watching from the underbrush. He vaguely remembered running carelessly through the woods when he was very young. But he was swiftly educated out of that. Once, too, he had run and laughed in the corridors of the manor, but he knew now that however familiar Castor might be, he was something different than Jordan and his people, hence in his own way a force of nature like the Winds. To be obeyed, his anger sidestepped if possible, else accommodated. Jordan could not become that.
Better not to think about it. His pace had increased as his thoughts drifted back to the manor, and the visiting Lord. Jordan slowed his pace, consciously unclenched his fists. From here, at the edge of the village, he could see the roof of his parents’ house over those of the neighbors. Everything looked peaceful in the goldening glow of evening. He had come to a fence, past which a row of haystacks squatted, surfaces alive with attendant grasshoppers, wise blinking birds sitting on their peaks. He sat down on the stile, and propped his chin on his hands.
Across the road was a expanse of unruly brush, interspersed with trees. It was far from the forest. Jordan had decided when he was ten years old that he would build his house here. Although he had yet to buy the land, only just having begun to earn a wage, he felt the place was already his. Lately he had begun drawing up plans for the building. Father had laughed when he saw them. “That’s a bit optimistic, isn’t it?” he’d said. “Better start small.”
Jordan had kept the plans as they were. His house would have a big workshop where he could do stonework. Why limit himself to repair work? People would need detailing for new buildings. He could do that. So he needed that extra space, regardless of what Father said.
Evening canted slowly over the village, lighting and deepening the roofs as planes and parallelograms of russet and amber. There came a time when there were shadows, and Jordan knew this was when he should go back. The hammering from the Penners’ had stopped, and now only a few lazy laughs drifted in, mixed with the barking of dogs called on to herd the goats back home.
Jordan heard a sound behind him. It was only a blackbird taking off, but he realized it too late to stop a cold flush of adrenaline. He stood up, brushing dust off the backs of his pants, and glanced at the dark line of the forest. Yes, go back.
He did feel better now, his mind calmed of any bad thoughts. His father was sitting in the doorway of the cottage, whittling, as he did sometimes. Yawning, Jordan bade him good night; his father barely glanced up, only grunting acknowledgment. Jordan saw no sign of his mother or sister inside. He padded up to the attic and threw himself on his narrow bed.
As he drifted off, he saw and heard flashes reminiscent of his nightmare last night. Every one would jolt him awake again, a little pulse of fear setting him to roll over or hug the blankets tighter about himself. He imagined something creeping in through the little window and whispering in his ear. He was sure someone had touched his face while he slept last night, and that this had set the nightmares off. What if it had been a morph?
Jordan sat up, blinking in the total darkness. It had not been a Wind. It was a person, someone unfamiliar whom he had seen, sometime today. Turcaret? He couldn’t remember.
He had been so absorbed in battling memory that he hadn’t noticed the sounds coming from downstairs. Now Jordan could plainly hear his father and his sister arguing, it sounded like in the back room.
“I won’t go back there,” she said.
“What are you saying?” said their father. “What will you do instead? There is nothing else, nowhere else to go. Don’t be silly.”
“I won’t.”
“Emmy.”
“He’s an evil man, and he makes Castor evil whenever he comes. They were… they were looking at me. I won’t wear this.”
“Castor commanded it. He’s our employer, Emmy. We owe everything we have to him. How can you be so ungrateful? If it weren’t for him, where would we be? Huddling in the forest with the windlorn.”
“You’d let him… you would…” She was in tears.
Father’s voice became softer, placating. “Emmy, nothing is going to happen. We have to trust Castor. We have no choice.”
“It is! It is going to happen! And you won’t see! None of you!”
“Emmy—” Jordan heard the door slam open, and quick footsteps recede into the night. He leaped out of bed, and went to the window. A slim form raced away from the house, in the direction of the black forest. Jordan’s scalp prickled as Emmy vanished in the shadow of the great oaks.
His father had heard the boards above his head creak. “Go back to bed, Jordan!”
He remained standing. Downstairs, his father and mother spoke together quietly; he couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Jordan fell back on the bed, his heart pounding. The murmured conversation continued. Why weren’t they following her? He listened, a tightness building in his chest as his parents’ inaction continued. After a few minutes he realized they were praying.
There were morphs in the forest, and maybe worse things. Jordan felt a sudden certainty that Emmy was going to stumble into its arms. She must be trying to get to the church, but the path was difficult even in daylight. At night, the forest was so dark you couldn’t see a tree trunk centimeters from your face, and, he knew, every sound was magnified so the approach of a field mouse sounded like a bear was coming.
Emmy had never feared the woods. He should have told her what had happened to him today. Jordan put his hands to his eyes and squinted back tears. At that moment, he felt terribly, awfully helpless, and abandoned because she was abandoned. Their parents were doing nothing!
And neither was he. He went to the window again.
“Jordan.” His father’s voice filled him with sudden loathing. His father was afraid of the forest. He wouldn’t follow Emmy because he was scared of the dark, and he was sure inaction would cure whatever was wrong.
Jordan sat on the bed, seething with hatred for his parents. The tightness in his chest was growing, though. Do something, he commanded them silently. Sitting in the dark with his fists clenched, he tried to move his parents with sheer will power.
The tightness had him gasping. Finally, he admitted to himself that they would do nothing—not tonight, not tomorrow, or ever. Their desperate fear of any disturbance in their carefully ordered lives paralyzed them utterly—and it always had.
He hurriedly dressed, not caring how much noise he made, and thudded down the steps. Candles lit the kitchen, where his parents knelt on the gritty wooden floor. Both looked up as Jordan appeared.
His father opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. He met Jordan’s eye for only a moment, then looked down. His mother nervously fiddled with the bow of her night dress.
Some spell had lifted, and Jordan walked past them with no feeling of compulsion to stop, obey or even heed what they might say. He stepped into the cool August night, and turned toward the forest.
He took the lantern that always hung outside the door, fumbled for the matches that were stuffed in a crack nearby. Frowning, he lit the lantern as he walked. Behind him he heard a shout, but he ignored it. Somehow, the action of lighting the lantern, of picking the likely path his sister had taken, absorbed his attention and he felt no emotion as he walked. No emotion at all.
Once he was under the trees, the lantern seemed to create a miniature world for him. This little universe was made of leaf-outlines, upstanding lines of grass, and grey slabs of trunk, all stuck in the pitch of night. Without the light, he would be stuck here too. It was inconceivable that Emmy could go any distance in here; but he had to admit she knew the paths. He had once asked Allegri what he would do if he lost his light in here, and the priest had said, “It happens now and then. But the trees are cleared near the path, so if you look straight up, rather than ahead, and sweep your feet ahead of you as you walk, you can do it.” It was like walking backward using a mirror. Emmy knew this.
But she could have fallen, could be lying two meters away, and he would never see her.
He opened his mouth to call her, heard a croak come out, and his own voice, circling around to his ears, somehow broke the dam of numbness that he had preserved as he left home.
“Emmy!” His shout was louder than he’d expected, and his voice cracked on it.
A few meters into the blackness he saw a small footprint in the mud; she had come this way. Emmy must be making for the church. She wouldn’t go to the neighbors; they would just bring her back home. And she wouldn’t go to the manor. The church was the only other refuge.
“Emmy!” He started to say, come back, but what came out was “Wait for me!”
He walked for a long time, calling out now and again. There was no answer, though once he heard a distant crashing in the brush which froze him silent for a long moment.
She couldn’t possibly have gone this far! Had he missed her in the dark? Maybe she hadn’t come this way at all, but just skirted the forest, and was even now back home, waiting for him with the others. That thought made Jordan’s scalp prickle, as if he were the runaway… but that was silly.
The lamp was starting to gutter. “Shit.” He was going to wind up huddling the night under some bush; in the pit of his stomach he knew he’d lost Emmy. And now he was alone in the forest.
He bent down, placing the butt of the lantern on his knee, and opened the glass to check the wick. There was probably enough oil to get a kilometer or so. It was more than that back to the village. The church was probably closer.
So he had to go on. Somehow he felt reassured by this. He stood up to continue.
A little star bobbed within the blackness ahead of him. He stared at it, biting his lip and remembering stories of spirit lights that led travellers off cliffs. But such lights were supposed to be green, or white, and to flicker and dodge about in swampy country. This light was amber, and swayed just as a lantern would if someone were walking with it.
He raised his own light and shouted, “Hallo!” The sound echoed flatly away.
The little light paused, then bobbed up and down. He started toward it, along the path. Maybe someone had found Emmy, and was returning with her. The thought sped him up; his heart was in his throat.
It was a lantern, and it was an ordinary person carrying it. But… Jordan had expected a man, a woodsman or even Allegri, but this was a woman stepping delicately over mossed logs and bent reeds. Not Emmy. And alone.
She raised her light again, and he recognized her. He had seen her at the doorway of the manor kitchen, asking for water. She must have accompanied Turcaret here in his steam wagon. When he’d seen her this morning she had been dressed in a long gown, but now she wore buckskin pants like a man, a dark shirt, and a cape thrown over her shoulders. She stood in stout muddied boots, too, and had some kind of belt around her hips, from which several leather pouches hung. Her glossy black hair was drawn tightly back, only one or two careless strands falling past her dark, arched brows. Her eyes gleamed in the lamplight.
“What a happy meeting,” she said. Her voice was melodic, and strong; she seemed to taste each syllable as she spoke it, weighing how it might best be pitched. “What are you doing so far from town?”
“Looking for my sister. She… she came this way.” He felt suspicious suddenly, wary of admitting Emmy’s vulnerability. “Have you seen her?”
“No…” She tasted the word as if it had some special savor. “But then I have only just ventured onto this trail. Perhaps she went by earlier?”
“Not long ago.” He heard himself groan faintly, knowing he must have missed Emmy somewhere in the dark. “Please,” he said, “can you help me? I’m scared for her. I can’t find her. She should have been… back there.” He looked around at the curtains of black. “Maybe I missed her.”
“All right.” She came up to him, and her fingers lightly touched his shoulder as she walked past. He found himself turning as if she held him tightly. They began to pick their way back along the trail.
“I’ve seen you up at the mansion,” she said. “You’re the lad who outwitted the stone mother, aren’t you?”
“Yes, ma’am. Jordan Mason.”
“Yes.” She was smiling now, as if delighted. “It’s fortunate I met you just now, Jordan. It saves me a lot of time.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to talk to some of Castor’s people. On my own, you know?”
Jordan thought about it. She didn’t trust Castor? “Is that why you were out at the church?”
“Yes.” She shot him a dazzling smile. She was, he noticed, notably taller than he.
His lantern guttered and finally went out. “Shit,” he said, shaking it. “Excuse me.”
“You’re not afraid of the dark, are you?” she asked, chiding.
“No, ma’am. I’m afraid of what’s in it.”
“I see.” He heard, rather than saw, her smile in the sound of the words.
The lady appeared to be thinking. She glanced about herself, then said firmly, “I heard voices a ways back. Was your sister going to meet someone?”
“No�” But what if she had met Allegri, or someone else coming from the priest’s house? “Where did you hear the voices?”
“This way.” She held the lantern high, and walked back the way she’d come. He followed, hopeful that they would meet Emmy coming back from the priest’s house.
The lady paused at a fork in the path. The way to the priest’s was on the right, Jordan knew. The left way led deeper into the forest. She stepped onto the leftward way.
“Wait!” He hurried forward. “She wouldn’t have gone this way. It doesn’t lead anywhere.”
“But one of the voices I heard was that of a girl,” said the lady, frowning. “And they came from down this way.” She stood hipshot, radiating impatience. “You are keeping me from my own errands, young man. I need not help you at all, you know.”
“Of course. I’m sorry.” He followed her onto the lesser of the two paths.
This way was half-overgrown; the lady seemed to have no trouble seeing the path ahead of them, but to Jordan every way quickly came to look the same. He glanced behind them, and saw only a thatchwork of tree trunks and ferns, framed in black.
“Are you sure this is where you heard the voices coming from?” he asked after a few minutes.
“Of course. Look, there’s a footprint.” She lowered the lamp for him to see. Jordan peered at the ground where she pointed, but he couldn’t see anything.
“I don’t see-”
“Are you questioning me?” said the lady. “You are keeping me from my duties. What will Castor and Turcaret say about my lateness?”
“You mustn’t tell them!”
“Well, then, stop dawdling.”
Jordan was silent for a while, but his heart was sinking. Could Emmy have run afoul of a bandit, or worse, a morph? Who else would be out in this blackness?
“What were you doing out here alone, ma’am?” he asked boldly. “Were you visiting the priests?”
“Yes, of course,” she replied promptly. They continued on over the uneven ground, until the thickets and trunks surrounded them tightly, and there was no longer any indication of a path underfoot.
The lady had one foot on a fallen log, about to step over it, when Jordan said, “Stop.”
“What?” She stepped up and balanced precariously on the mossy log.
“This is crazy. She can’t have come this way. Sound plays tricks in the forest. Maybe the sound came from somewhere else.”
“Maybe.” She sounded doubtful.
“We need to go back and get help,” he said. “I’ll roust my work gang. There’s no need for you to worry yourself, ma’am. You have your own business to attend to.”
“True.” She started to step down from the log, but slipped. Jordan saw the lantern fly in an arc, then complete darkness fell around them.
“Damn!” He heard the lady groping about for the lantern.
Jordan put his hands out and hesitantly edged in the direction of the sounds. The darkness was total. “Are you all right, ma’am?”
“I’m fine. But I can’t find the lantern.”
Now that he was completely drowned in darkness, Jordan realized Emmy could never have come this far. It was impossible to take two steps in any direction without encountering a wall of uncertainty more solid than any tree trunk.
“Hmmf. Well, that’s that,” said the lady. “I can’t find it. Give me your hand.” He reached out tentatively, felt her warm fingers entwine his own.
“Come. This way.”
“What are you doing?”
“We were headed uphill. I’m just going to go down. I’m sure we’ll find the path again.”
“Begging your pardon, but we should stay right here. You’re not supposed to keep walking if you’re lost in the-”
“We’re not lost!” Her voice expressed outraged anger. “And I am not going to miss my appointments tonight!”
“But-”
“Come.” She tugged, and though his every instinct was to remain still, Jordan followed so as not to lose contact. Slowly, they walked hand in hand over the uneven path.
Jordan was completely blind, and was sure he would blunder into a tree at any moment, but the lady’s pull was steady. Jordan fought within himself and craned his neck up, looking for small swaths of starlight overhead instead of straining to make out the logs and stones underfoot. He tried to feel his way. And she did seem to know where she was going, for she did not stumble at all.
It seemed so strange, placing his feet by faith, seeing only the occasional star, and feeling acutely the touch of this stranger’s hand. It was at once intimate and solitary. He cleared his throat and said, “What’s your name?”
“I am the lady Calandria May. Turcaret was my travelling companion, but I am not in his employ.”
“Oh.” So she might be Castor’s equal; Jordan felt uncomfortable to be holding her hand. She was his superior, so she could take his, but he could never have touched her so first.
“Careful.” She stepped him over another fallen log. He hadn’t felt or heard her hit it, but then he was concentrating on staring up. He didn’t remember this log from a few minutes ago, and his footing was much rougher now. Round stones rolled under his shoes and long drooling fronds of grass wet his thighs. He smelled the metallic tang of moist earth, mixed with many green and fetid odors.
The strip of starlight was disappearing. He kicked himself for not looking up when he’d first come this way, to judge now where they were. They were not on the path. “We’re not on the path,” he said.
“Yes we are,” she said in the same calm, even tone with which she had pronounced her name. Jordan stumbled over a root; her hand pulled him leftward, then back, and he felt tall brambles tug by. By instinct he had looked forward, and his free hand was out to ward him. When he looked up again, the stars were gone.
He craned his neck to try to see behind him—futile, naturally. His mouth was open to protest that they really were off the path, but her grip tightened, and she pulled him ahead with renewed speed. His warding hand brushed something slick—a tree trunk, he realized even as he snatched his hand back with a gasp.
“Steadily now, Jordan,” she said.
“But—”
“Come now,” she said. He heard gentle humor in her tone. “We are on the path. After all, we haven’t hit any trees, have we?”
It really wasn’t his place to question a lady. Her hand was his only lifeline, she his only recourse here. But how could she see in the dark? Was she a Wind? The thought nearly made him break his contact. She sensed something, and gave a reassuring squeeze.
“How can you see in the dark?” he blurted.
“I am as human as you,” she said.
How was he going to find Emmy now? “We should stop and wait here for morning,” he insisted.
She let go of his hand.
Jordan shouted in surprise.
The lady’s voice issued from very nearby. “You may wait here, if you’d like,” she said crossly. “I am going on back to the manor, and a warm fire and good companionship. You can sit here in the damp and stew in your own fears, or you can come with me. Which is it to be?”
Then silence. He couldn’t hear her moving away, couldn’t hear her breathing or moving at all. The silence stretched uncomfortably; Jordan could hear his own breath rasping, and the sounds of crickets, wind in the treetops. Nothing else. Had she left him?
“Please,” he said.
Her fingers twined in those of his outstretched hand. Her touch, in the dark, made him remember last night, when a dark-haired woman had come to stand over him in his half-sleep, and laid her hand on his brow.
“Come,” she said.